Kid Rock Buys Cases of Bud Light So He Can Shoot Them While Crying
Another day, another one-sided battle in the culture war.
This time, it’s transphobic right-wingers versus Budweiser, a beer brand known less for its great taste than for being more widely available than clean tap water in America. The issue? The brand partnered with trans actor and activist Dylan Mulvaney, who has documented her transition in a viral “Days of Girlhood” TikTok series. This past weekend, she posted a video in which she was jokingly clueless about March Madness and revealed that she’d received a special Bud Light with her face on it — to celebrate Day 365, one full year since her journey began. Again, this was a single beer can with Mulvaney’s likeness on it, and it didn’t even appear on the grid: You had to look at her Instagram stories to see it.
Apart from stumbling across this online ad, your typical Bud drinker would never know of such an endorsement. But prominent reactionaries currently engaged in a war on trans people have social networks that allow them to quickly amplify and exaggerate this kind of thing to each other until, for example, aging phony redneck musician Kid Rock believes that the beer itself is now a symbol of trans rights, and films himself weeping about it before blowing away a few cases with an assault rifle.
Wearing a hat emblazoned with the slogan of a former president being arraigned today in New York on 34 felony counts, Mr. Rock turned to a camera, his eyes brimming with tears and pain. Nevertheless, he claimed to be feeling “frisky” before announcing that he had a message that he wanted to make “as clear and concise as possible.” He then aimed his MP5 submachine gun at a display of Bud Light 12-packs and squeezed off a good number of rounds, exploding some while appearing to miss one box entirely.
“Fuck Bud Light, and fuck Anheuser-Busch,” he concluded while flipping off the camera.
Rock mentioning the brewer (which makes Budweiser) by name hinted at the possibility of a boycott. If so, the culture warriors have their work cut out for them: Anheuser-Busch is no longer just a good old-fashioned St. Louis beer brand but a subsidiary of AB InBev, the multinational conglomerate that happens to be the largest brewer in the world, with annual sales of around $50 billion.
Travis Tritt later punished Anheuser-Busch by announcing he would remove their alcohol from his dressing room. “I will be deleting all Anheuser-Busch products from my tour hospitality rider,” he warned. “I know many other artists who are doing the same.”
But, as ever, the snowflake patrol did not seem to realize that buying a product just to performatively destroy or toss it out does not exactly hurt the manufacturer’s bottom line. Sebastian Gorka, formerly Deputy Assistant to President Trump, tweeted a video in which he dropped an entire six-pack of full beer bottles in the trash, also rejecting the concept of recycling. He seemingly did not realize he was recording for the first five seconds of the clip, and the hashtag he coined was mainly picked up by bots.
Lesser-known opponents of “wokeness” also got in on the trend, pouring Bud Lights down the drain or taking them out with the trash. The most common replacement appeared to be Coors Light, a notable sponsor of LGBTQ pride events in the brand’s hometown of Denver — but don’t tell these guys!
While most of the outrage from older men was focused on beer brand loyalty, a few younger far-right influencers tried to stick to the gender messaging. Candace Owens called Mulvaney’s ad an instance of “woman-face” and said it promoted a stereotype of women as stupid. Her silent, furious face as she watches is almost a better performance than Kid Rock’s crocodile tears.
The real galaxy-brain take, however, came from the Christian conservative YouTuber Vince Dao, who argued that Bud Light “was a psy-op long before Dylan Mulvaney,” because light beer is “loaded with estrogen” and “designed to give you man-boobs.” The most unbelievable claim in here, though, is that Dao once tried beer at a high school party. Who invited him?
Anyway, this fabricated controversy should be good for another 24 hours of seething monologues, memes, “go woke go broke” tweets, and boycott promises that will be forgotten once there’s a sale on Bud Light at the liquor store. Cheers to everyone who got likes out of it — especially Catturd.